For this week’s post, I thumb my nose at a piece of writing advice. (Well, two pieces actually, since I just used a cliché.) Good writers, they say, opt for the word “said” during dialogue so as to avoid scenes like:
"Let's go to the movies," he posited. "I disagree," she demurred.
Herewith, consider my nose thumbed.
Task
“I want to climb that mountain,” she says. The foothill lures her spirit, Beckoning wide paths seduce her. Flooded with energy, she skips. “The path gets narrower,” she notices. A switchback challenges her footsteps, Scribbling tree roots trip her. Worried but still powerful, she continues. “Should I carry on?” she puffs. The incline steals her breath, Aching muscles betray her. Depleted of oxygen, she schlepps. “I can’t do this,” she whines. An obstacle blocks her progress, Darkening skies shadow her. Deprived of hope, she sleeps. “But . . . my goal is just there,” she awakens. The dawn illuminates her next steps, Daunting barriers dissolve before her. Reinvigorated by inspiration, she climbs. “What a view!” she cries. A summit reveals her success, Haunting memories flee from her. Satiated with completeness, she savours. “Now what?” she wonders. The downward path answers, Waning desire to remain prompts her. Evolved for a new task, she descends. “If I go down, I can climb a higher mountain,” she says.
I’m laughing here, she shared. I like your attitude about writing advice, she opined. Your poem is delightful, she concluded.
Ha ha, beautifully crafted response. I thought about your post about cliché when I wrote my opening paragraph. I decided to roll with my cliché anyway. I told myself if I KNOW I’m breaking a rule, it’s okay. (https://thespectacledbean.com/2021/03/12/a-dilemma-to-cliche-or-not-to-cliche-that-is-the-question/)
Thanks for the shoutout. I’m not much for writing rules, figuring at this point in life I/we should do whatever floats your boat. 😉
Phew – luckily, “Whatever floats your boat” is one of my favourite clichés …
That was great Arlene…..and great response Ally, she added.
let me edit that to she agreed. Early am….I need my coffee….
Agreed here, too, I need my coffee … Thanks for dropping by!
I don’t remember much poetry here before, but WOW, you are really blooming here. My favorite line: “Scribbling tree roots trip her” — of course they would!
Brava, Arlene!
You’re right, I don’t do poetry often. I gave myself a Poetry Month challenge – one poem each week in April. One more next week. Goodness knows what it will be about. 🙂
You are succeeding. . . royally!
Schlepps…. my new favorite word. Thanks for your experimental, rule-breaking spirit, Arlene!
Don’t tell my mother about the rule-breaking . . . 🙂