Tag Archives: Acceptance

Pi Day, P.I.E. Day, Pie day

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March 14, or 3/14 ,celebrates Pi, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter most often approximated with the decimal 3.14. What better way to celebrate the irrational number (a decimal with no end and no repeating pattern) than by eating pie!

This day in Canada is also P.I.E. Day, a day to be Public, Intentional and Explicit allies of LGBTQ2SIA+ people. There is no end and no repeating pattern to people. Let’s affirm that. Let’s celebrate that by eating pie!

I invite you to scroll down below the picture of the pie and read the words of my cherished friend, Derek Kitchen, a member of the Pride group at my church.

The theme for P.I.E. Day is the year of intention. In the coming year what can I learn? What steps can I take to overcome fear? I intend to find out.

Read more about why we need more P.I.E. please.

Apple pie

Why we need more P.I.E., please

By Derek Kitchen

As an affirming congregation we love our trans brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, friends, extended and chosen family and friends.

But I would also ask that, in order to affirm trans people, we may need to better understand the challenges posed by those who fear them, and perhaps educate those who act out of fear and misunderstanding.

We are now familiar with the challenges faced by trans refugees who have been beaten, tortured, burned out of their encampments, and faced with abuse even from governments, clergy, police and other refugees.

Trans people are murdered and subjected to violence at a higher rate than other gay and lesbian people. The human rights campaign reported the highest number of murdered trans people ever in 2021 with a reported total of 58 trans people murdered, predominantly members of the Black and LatinX populations. It is further expected that many trans murders go unreported because of stigmatization and homelessness amongst the trans community.

Trans youth are at a high risk for suicide. Lesbian, gay and bisexual teens in Canada are 5 times more likely than other teens to consider suicide and 7 times more likely to consider it. Trans youth are at even greater risk. The national institute of health in the USA reports that 86% of trans youth have seriously considered suicide, and 56% have had at least one suicide attempt.

It is important for us to support all trans people, but especially to support younger trans people who are at much higher risk. We need to provide safe spaces where they can ask questions without being judged, and many cannot do this safely at home, with their doctors, in their schools or faith communities.

Lest we think this is mostly an American problem, I’ll refer you to a CBC story from March 5, exactly one week ago. Some teachers in the York Catholic District School Board, have been displaying “Safe Space Stickers” the size of bumper stickers. These feature the inclusive pride flag, with trans colors included, and they signal acceptance to LGBTQ children and teens. Many of these stickers have been torn, defaced with epithets and profanity, and removed.

Police had to be called when a group of parents stormed the board meeting to protest the use of these stickers in schools. There were comments like, “They are not safe spaces. They should warn that they’re danger zones!” and “They’re preaching confusion and acceptance which is truly disgusting.” One parent said the stickers were not compatible with faith and that LGBT students should not be allowed to attend the school.

Now we know that in Ontario this kind of exclusion is a violation of the Ministry of Education’s Human Rights policies, but this does not make the situation any less complicated for trans kids or their families.

I would suggest that we not be silent when we see this kind of oppression.

As allies to the trans community, we cannot remain neutral because remaining neutral only empowers the oppressor.

There are many ways to be an ally to trans people. There are many online and other resources that can elaborate on simple strategies explaining how you can help. Most importantly, we can try to educate those who may be acting in harmful ways, possibly out of fear.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear…whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.”

— 1 John 4:18

ROLLER COASTER: My word(s) for 2023

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“Roller coasters are driven almost entirely by basic inertial, gravitational and centripetal forces=, all manipulated in the service of a great ride.”

https://science.howstuffworks.com/engineering/structural/roller-coaster.htm

Hang on! It’s going to be a great ride!

My family helped me to choose this year’s word(s) over New Year’s Day dinner. I liked the idea of surrendering to the ups and downs of what life brings to me. (For the record the other words chosen by my family were: ADVENTURE, PROACTIVE, CALM, AND INTEGRITY.)

We spent some time discussing whether ROLLER COASTER should be disqualified because it’s two words instead of one, but I’m rolling with it because it’s a single concept, so I think it counts.

I’m on the 2023 roller coaster. Wheels clank against the rails as we climb up, up up. I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side of the crest of the track.

I’ll do my best to throw up my arms, shriek, and enjoy the ride.

Roller coaster cars cling to the edge of a curver.
Photo by Stas Knop on Pexels.com

The beauty of aging

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I stroll through the woods near my home, and I run my hands along the gnarled bark of ancient trees. I trail a finger down the deep wrinkles in the trunk, and I think, “How beautiful.”

The twisting growth and grooved skin gives a tree its gravitas and wisdom. In fact, the more gnarled and grooved a tree is, the more we love it.

  • A tree I love in Ottawa, Canada
  • A tree I love in Hampstead Heath

And yet, we detest those things in ourselves. Why is it that we humans fear wrinkles so much?

According to the Business Insider, in 2020 the “beauty” industry was growing at a historically fast pace. We are more afraid than ever to let our natural selves shine. The industry then was valued at an estimated $532 billion dollars per year, and it’s growing.

We are draining our bank accounts so that we don’t look like trees.

I celebrate a birthday this week. I am older. My knuckles have swollen, so rings no longer slide over them the way they used to. My lifetime of smiles and laughter shows in the grooves that curve around my eyes and mouth. How beautiful.

Arlene Smith on her front porch under a Winnie the Pooh blanket
Old enough to have wrinkles, but not so old that I can’t still love the Winnie the Pooh blanket

I’m not the oldest tree in the forest, but I’m not the youngest either. Many saplings grow around me. My wish is that by the time those supple trees reach my age, they will see the beauty of aging.

A deciduous forest in autumn with the large trunk of a mature tree in the foreground and smaller trees in the background.
Old forest, young trees. All beautiful.

Embracing interruptions

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I’m away on a short vacation – interrupting my routine. While I’m travelling, I’m re-posting some old posts from my previous blog site. Enjoy.

One of the joyous frustrations of freelance writing is its unpredictable variety.

Notebook with blank pages.

I never know if I’ll be writing about money, or toilet installation, or chickens, or veterans, or crows, or . . . the list goes on. I never know when I’ll receive the last-minute phone calls. I get up in the morning with plans to do something and then, BAM, the phone rings. My whole day gets knocked sideways.

The frustration happened yesterday. The phone call came and all the things I’d planned to do and write about got swept off my calendar. It’s difficult to make firm plans. And if you ever drop by my house and see dust on the furniture, you know why.

The joy comes from learning about new things all the time. I am so lucky to never feel like I’m in a rut. I get paid to write! How great is that? 

Another joyous benefit of my freelance writing career is the reading I do on many topics. Years ago, one of those reading stints led to me this best piece of advice:

Embrace interruptions.

When I’m writing, I focus. I dive deep down into a well of creative thought and if someone speaks to me I need to swim my mind up through sludge to the surface again. I can practically hear the murky bubbles around me.

Interruptions used to drive me bonkers.

Now I tell myself: There is a purpose behind this interruption. How does it benefit me?

It gives me a chance to get a drink or go to the bathroom. It makes me notice the typo I overlooked before, once I settle back into place and look with refreshed eyes at the work I’ve done. It gives me an extra 24 hours to write a blog post.

Interruptions come in big and small sizes too.

There’s the simple, “Mom, are we out of milk?” kind of interruption, and then there’s the, “You need to take this. I’m afraid there’s bad news,” kind of phone call that knocks a life sideways for weeks, or months, or years. The big ones are harder to embrace, but perhaps it’s even more important to look for the gifts in those doozies.

There is a purpose behind your interruptions. How do they benefit you?

Heart engrained

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Heart-shaped grain in the wood of a casket with two red roses.

I was a pall bearer for my aunt last week, so I had a close-up view of the heart that was a natural part of the grain of her casket.

I was told that this casket was not the kind that she had picked, but was substituted instead.

Just goes to show . . . Some things work out even better than we plan, when our plans go awry.

Woman surrounded by a group of people watching her play the guitar.
My aunt in her favourite place – the centre of it all.